Effort: The Only Meaningful Compliment
Because effort is respect.
I made this! And spent 6 hours learning to digitally clean it up- still learning. Click the picture to purchase!
This post was inspired by an influx of male friends complimenting my looks. I am certainly not venting and it is always very sweet! But ultimately those kinds of compliments don’t mean much to me because I didn’t earn my looks- I got lucky and sometimes decorate them.
But when someone compliments me on something that I’ve earned or worked for, I know they SEE me and my effort, and are bestowing a genuine acknowledgement.
Things I love to receive compliments about:
My ability to solve problems
My musical prowess and creations
My art, even when it’s bad to me
My ability to express myself clearly
My chillness (I’m hard to offend- that took work)
My knowledge of baseball or other passions
My personality (that also took work!)
Things I don’t love to receive compliments about:
My looks
How I’m better than someone else at music, art, or fill in the blank
How blessed or lucky I am (I will agree, but it isn’t a compliment)
The way I see it is, effort is the common skill that is as important as evidence is to science, and that most humans share the experience of having to practice from childhood. The ability to learn and think, in my opinion, goes unacknowledged because from early youth, most everyone gets some sort of schooling experience starting from mom and dad and continuing in a more formal curriculum. We *have* to do it, so no one is better or different than anyone else.
But let’s break out of autopilot for a moment! Your ability to think is vital to the happiness and fundamental enjoyment of your life! Your ability to adapt to situations and create ease is something that all of us are supposedly trying to do, but plenty of us don’t even know how to start doing that work. The skills that you develop add to your peace, ease, happiness, and overall fundamental enjoyment of life.
Whatever you are great at or have created for yourself, or developed as a result of practice and failures, and the mental and emotional work you’ve done to achieve mindsets that bring you peace or happiness, I compliment you and I’m proud of you!! Double exclamation point!
And you’re probably good-looking, too.
